Get a Watchdog! (LONG post, but so important!)

"A Florida judge this afternoon sentenced sex offender John Evander Couey to die for the brutal 2005 rape and murder of 9-year-old Jessica Lunsford." from abcnews.go.com

OK, right off the bat, I would like to preface this with the following: This is not a paid endorsement or advertisement of any sort! This is something I feel strongly about and as a parent, I would like to share with my readers in an effort to better protect our children.

Now that we have that out of the way, I will tell you a story. This is a true story, from not long ago and not far away. Brainy Mom younger then, she was brainy and she was a mom, but she was not yet a "Brainy Mom." It was about 7 1/2 years ago and I was just starting to utilize the internet for informational searches.

In an effort to flee the loose Pit Bulls roaming the streets and broken-down-in-the-driveway pickup trucks, my husband and I moved to a nicer neighborhood with our baby daughter. At least on the surface, it certainly appeared nicer than our previous neighborhood. The yards were well maintained and the dogs were actually on leashes, yes, even the Rottweilers. It seemed the kind of place a young, new mom could take her little daughter out for a walk in her stroller in the evenings.

Feeling particularly friendly and completely forgetting the cautionary tales of "Little Red Riding Hood" and Mom's "Don't Talk to Strangers" speech, I called out a cheery "hello" to a neighbor down the block as we strolled by. (Just me and the baby on the walk as Mr. Brainy was still at work.) I noticed his lawn was particularly green and beautiful and commented, "Your yard looks really nice."

The man just sort of stares at me like I said his yard looks like a stinking, piece of doggy doo. I keep walking, almost past the guy now and then he says, "You're new around here, aren't you?" And pleased to have finally gotten a response from Mr. Nice Lawn, I stop walking and smile, pointing foolishly at my house and say, "Yes, we just moved in THERE!"

The guy sort of nods at me and I continue with my walk and my life, happy and content in my nice new neighborhood and the lovely green lawns.

Happy, yes, until the evening I decided to check the Department of Law Enforcement's Sex Offender database. I still don't know what prompted me to do it, but I was glad that I did. I typed in my zip code, not expecting anything in particular, certainly not the first picture on the HUGE LIST of Offenders is my new neighbor! Oh, yeah--this is a true story, and it gets better! Not only is Mr. Nice Lawn Sex Offender on the list. . .there is another sex offender living with him in the same house. The same address. The same house with the nice lawn. In my nice neighborhood. Two sex offenders.

Needless to say, I was completely horrified. I just couldn't believe it. Why hadn't I thought to check the offender database before we bought the house? And why in the world did I talk to him AND tell him where I live?

While I will never know the answer to these questions and other mysteries of the universe, I am hopeful that my experience makes you realize that these people are everywhere, even in nice neighborhoods. I don't live in that neighborhood anymore, thank goodness, but I assure you that I thoroughly checked the database and mapped all the offenders before we put an offer in on our next house.

More recently, I discovered the Family Watchdog website. This site is awesome because
1) IT'S FREE!
2) you can map all the offenders AND predators in your area
3) you can also set it up so that you receive alerts when a new offender or predator moves into your area.

And it tells you how far away they are, too. I have gotten several emails showing where these offenders have moved nearby and it always makes my skin crawl. So far, none of them are in my immediate neighborhood but I will be the first one to know if they move close by.

But, as helpful as websites like Family Watchdog can be, you can never be too cautious when it comes to the safety of your children. And I also think of it this way--the offenders and predators you see on Watchdog or Law Enforcement websites are ONLY THE ONES WHO HAVE BEEN CAUGHT, TRIED AND CONVICTED OF THEIR CRIMES. There is no way to know about all the ones who have gotten away with the same or similar (or even worse) crimes against children AND NOT GOTTEN CAUGHT!

Perhaps even more frightening, according to the Office of the Attorney General of California, 90% of child victims know their offender, with almost half of the offenders being a family member. Of sexual assaults against people age 12 and up, approximately 80% of the victims know the offender. Scary, right? So it's not just those creepy people on the database, it's your daughter's friend's uncle or dad or the neighbor. Hard to believe.

So, just be careful when it comes to your kids. (Especially if you live in Alaska. After looking at the statistics on Familywatchdog.com, it looks like Alaska should be renamed the Sex Offender State.)

The Brainy Mom Tip of the Day is to check out Familywatchdog.com or whatever database you like and set it up to send you an alert when one of these known offenders moves in nearby. At least we can keep track of the ones we know about. And be cautious about people you don't know--find out who will be at the friend's house when your kids go to visit and talk to your kids, really talk to them, about this. Even little kids can be taught what kinds of touching is okay and what is inappropriate. It's important and it can make a difference.

And lastly, don't talk to strangers.